Ever since I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve lost a sense of me; everything I did was to benefit us (our relationship). If I didn’t like it and it was good for us what?” I’d still do it. It started from making someone happy to satisfying myself, to impressing them, to what ever makes them happy I will do. By so doing neglecting myself and my needs. In the end I have no idea of who I am and what makes me happy.
After a relationship when there’s still hurt and confusion: is the best time to really get to know who you are without your partner. What are your values, what makes you, you. How you want your future to be like with someone you love or you want to spend your life with.
The biggest mistake I made was to find someone else to spend time with, the overwhelming free time I had on my hands. Instead of discovering myself, I landed myself in another web. The fear of being alone engulfed me. My skin cries for warmth led me to another and before I knew it, I was another’s shadow. Because I had lost someone I invested my life in; I was ready and willing to give it my all, for the sake of not being alone. Forget about what I want, its all about him. This was it for me! Who knew I was going to be miserable.
When that didn’t work I had to introspect, I had to ask myself questions that I couldn’t even answer at the time. Who am I ( I was lost, hurt, depressed and defeated). What do I want out of life? What kind of relationship am I looking for?
Mistake: we shouldn’t ever ask ourselves what men want, we would never know. This is all about me. I promised to never wallow up in self pity ” where did I go wrong?”
! If my man doesn’t appreciate me now, today, he won’t appreciate me ever.
Snap out of it; no more excuses. You deserve better.
toebele 